


drowning in cigarette smoke until my lungs leak

by GarnetsAndRoses



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Gen, He/Him Pronouns For Eret, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lowercase, Male Friendship, Recreational Drug Use, Suicidal Thoughts, Teenage Rebellion, comments really help please leave one, i only live off of angst, no shipping you nasties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27624143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarnetsAndRoses/pseuds/GarnetsAndRoses
Summary: it's been a long house party and people are trickling out the door, trying not to stumble over their own feet. eret stands by the door and waves goodbye. the dream team is the last to leave, and dream smirks as he makes sure eret knows just how much dream wants him gone. george and sapnap are sneaking full vodka bottles out.orfundy finds eret crying on the couch and isn't going to let his friend cry alone
Relationships: Eret & Floris | Fundy
Comments: 12
Kudos: 165





	1. they stream out of the door into the bitingly cold night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crispy_ceasar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispy_ceasar/gifts).



eret smiles blandly as he watches the crowd of teens calling out "goodbye" and "see you" to each other as they stream out of the door into the bitingly cold night. wilbur and technoblade, both obvious among the rush thanks to one's yellow beanie and the other's garishly dyed hair, break free to talk to eret.

"so, fun party. didya like the new song?" slurs wilbur. he blinks with slightly bloodshot eyes, the other clue that he had been shotgunning marijuana from schlatt all night long. yup, eret heard the two screaming with laughter and occasionally choking on smoke for hours.

what can eret do other than reply, "it was nice. thanks for entertaining."

techno is stone-cold sober and sees through eret's lie. he sighs, "i know it was bad. he could do to write something that isn't about how much he hates london. c'mon, wilby, let's go!"

wilbur splutters as he's dragged by the arm out of the party, smoke drifting in his wake.

eret barely has time to cough before schlatt and quackity run by. schlatt shouts, "thanks for the weed!" quackity giggles and the two stumble off of the snow-encrusted porch arm-in-arm.

turning away from their antics, eret makes his way over to the bathroom and raps on the door. "is anyone there?" he can hear a gasp, then a clatter of something dropping onto the tiles of the counter. water is gushing from the sink.

niki's voice floats out from inside. she mumbles, "i'll be right out." the door creaks open, and she slinks out. eret is much taller than her, but he can see the tears dripping onto her cashmere sweater. he puts an arm around her and she buries her face in his chest. after a minute of what seems like uncontrollable sobbing, niki withdraws and dashes for the door. her figure quickly disappears into the night.

behind eret, the dream team emerges from the basement. dream has a smirk plastered on his face as he shoves eret aside. the teen stumbles over empty beer cans, crashing onto the hardwood. eret stares up in panic as dream leans over his prone body. dream flicks eret's forehead before purring, "it would have been a better party if we didn't have to look at your vapid face, but you can't have everything." he stands and starts to walk off. george and sapnap grin wickedly, making sure eret can see the vodka bottles they're holding as they leave and slam the door shut so harshly the house's foundation seems to rattle.

the boy on the ground closes his eyes, wondering _how did they even get those i didn't set the good stuff out_ but eret can't lay there forever, he has to drag his tired body up and start cleaning. he starts with the living room, lamenting the tracks of snow and the bottles strewn about and the scraps of singed paper.


	2. smoke and booze drapes itself across the room and reaches up the stairs like smog

the guest bedroom is trashed, the blanket yanked off the bed and used to create a pillow fort. eret rearranges the bed and wonders if bad and skeppy did that. they'd do that.

eret traverses the house to clean the bathrooms, which are generally gross and the toilets smell of the stuff you'd most associate with the teens who drink too much and have to go into the bathroom, anyway. the only bathtub in the house is littered with cigarette butts and a black hoodie lays draped over the side of the tub. eret is glad he found the hoodie before the still-smoking stubs lit it on fire.

the basement is near unsalvageable. smoke and booze drapes itself across the room and reaches up the stairs like smog. pinching his nose to block the fumes, eret traipses around and starts kicking the trash into one pile to corral with a trashbag. red cups are easy to spot on the pale carpet, which isn't so pale now.

the cleaning is so monotonous, his mind starts to wander. the familiar echos of "worthless" and "just kill yourself" latch themselves onto dream's taunts as eret's mind wanders over the confrontation at the door. he crushes a can and hurls it into the trashbag. tears spring into his eyes. with a strained cry, eret collapses onto the couch and buries his face into the solitary throw pillow.

he's sick of rethinking their words and sick of having to hear it at all. he's tired of the nasty things his subconscious whispers and he's tired of what others whisper behind his back. he's sick of inhaling this secondhand booze. why can't he just-

letting his tears soak through the pillow, eret sobs. if the neighbors couldn't hear the uproarious teens or the pounding music selected from techno's "violence" playlist or wilbur's screeching guitar or the sound of niki's heart shattering or dream pushing eret into the closet to growl threats into the other teen's ear then how could they hear eret cry?

a creak at the top of the stairs draws eret from his weeping. a shadow stretches across the basement and it rasps, "eret?"

his head snaps up and he sniffles. "fundy?"

the ginger teen lopes down the stairs, rubbing his arms. "jeez eret, you okay? i mean, i just came in here because i left a jacket, but i heard crying so . . ." he stops at the foot of the stairs. eret frantically swipes at his face with a jacketed arm.

"hey, fundy-" eret hiccups. "your jacket's over here."

fundy grins and rushes over to grab the hoodie, almost leaping into it before pulling the rainbow strings tight. he flops onto the couch, nudging the trashbag away. "so what's up? it was a nice party but you ditched everybody to go off with dream. don't you know that he's my boyfriend?" fundy smirks and leans on eret's shoulder.

eret stares down as tears spill from his eyes to dot his lap. the teen next to him recoils.

"w-why are you crying?" fundy blurts. he puts a hand on eret's shoulder and starts babbling something reassuring until eret screams,

"shut up! you don't know dream!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter pogggggg! i didn't think i could write almost 1000 words today, but i'm the best at hyperfocusing at the expense of actually important stuff. oh boy do i feel bad for beating on eret, but there is a comfort part to this hurt/comfort fic. also, fungi :3


	3. their breaths sending wisps of marijuana smoke dancing

fundy freezes in place, blinking for a long time before asking, “what do you mean?”

eret’s throat burns as he chokes out, “your  _ boyfriend _ . . . has been making my life a living hell for the last month.” suddenly the tears come back with a passion, streaming down his face only to drip onto the already-stained couch cushions.

the teen next to him looks baffled but draws eret into a soft hug. eret slumps into the embrace and cries pitifully as fundy pats eret’s back. fundy’s jacket is grimy and it reeks of beer but eret wants to inhale the fumes and lose himself in the scent that pervades the basement. that he can mutter, “dream . . . and the rest of them . . .”

“oh no eret oh no what are you saying?” whispers fundy. he shakes his head and continues rubbing eret’s back.

more sniffles escape eret before he finally admits, “i’ve been getting bullied. a lot. by your  _ boyfriend _ -”

fundy interrupts to yelp, “he’s not really my boyfriend! and besides, like i’d date the guy who . . . bullied you.” he hugs the other teen a little tighter before pulling himself away. eret looks up through his tears to see fundy dabbing at wet eyes. the ginger-haired boy whines, “i cry when other people cry, okay?”

eret forces himself to wipe away the snot crusting his nose. he admits, “i’m so tired of getting pushed around. and getting threatened. and all that stuff that dream tells me to do.” his fingers tremble and he grabs the hem of his shirt to stop the shaking.

fundy stares downward and gently rests his hands on eret’s. “you know that i’ll yell at dream if you don’t want to. right? and if anybody does that shit to you, i’ll . . . tell a teacher then bake you something?” he glances up at eret, whose face crinkles into a shy smile.

the two laugh hoarsely, their breaths sending wisps of marijuana smoke dancing. eret collapses back onto the throw pillow. his fingers trace the tears in the cushions’ seams and he wonders if they can be repaired like the words engraved into every vein leading to his heart. fundy doesn’t lay down, though, instead pulling his hoodie off and shaking it. then he drapes it over eret who croaks, “wait, won’t you be cold?”

“of course i’ll be cold, but you need it more. i’ll warm up by taking out the trash!” he pats eret’s cheek and gets up to haul the trash bag over his shoulder.

eret mouths  _ wait you don’t need to do that it’s my trash _ but his raw throat can’t call out to fundy, who has already started to skip up the stairs. but eret is content to sink into the haze of secondhand smoke and exhaustion. his consciousness dissolves into the pot-tainted air. fundy is waiting at the entrance to the basement, waiting for the rhythmic breathing of someone sound asleep, waiting to see the pain wiped off of eret’s face until only peace remains. he smiles and rubs his blood-shot eyes before blowing a kiss towards the other teen’s sleeping form. his footsteps are heavy as he makes his way through the house and stops in the kitchen to shake the rubbish into the trash can. sighing, fundy washes his hands with the hot water cranked all the way up before turning to the fridge and checking for anything edible. he thinks,  _ these eggs would work _ and reaches for the carton with fingers still stained with ash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh this is late but i had an essay to do for school!! also i made this like a chapter + epilogue/conclusion thing. i'm really sorry for the lateness!


	4. snoring breaks the deep silence of the morning

eret’s eyes barely open before he realizes that the basement’s stench of beer has been replaced with something clearer and maybe . . . savory? it’s the smell of food wafting from up the stairs. he sits up slowly, rubbing away the crusted tears from his face and setting aside the jacket draped over him. it takes eret a while to trudge up to the kitchen and even longer to let his eyes adjust to the piercing rays of light stretching across the house. the morning sun strikes the counter and illuminates the platter of eggs and glass of milk resting there. snoring breaks the deep silence of the morning, emanating from the couch sitting in the living room. eret rolls his eyes. picking up the plate and glass, he heads over and sits down next to fundy.

“thanks,” murmurs eret. he pats fundy’s shoulder and the sleeping form whispers,

“anything for you, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, my first fic is done! i'm a little disappointed in myself that i got so tired from school in the middle of this, but you know, burn-out hits hard. gosh, i need more fundy and eret stuff in my life. but this isn't shipping! i stg males can show affection too

**Author's Note:**

> so . . . um . . . this is my first fic and i really hope you like it. this takes place in sort of an mcyt high school setting. it's angsty but that's what i like. it's a long one-shot, emphasis on the long. i might post the other ~450 word chunks in increments of one a day, but who knows. please comment if this made you feel anything, it really motivates me!


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